Thursday, January 31, 2008

CD11, CBEFM High

Here again. High again.

Didn't so much work out with FD waking me up when he got home from work...apparently, I was Mrs. Grumpy Pants and wouldn't wake up. Mind you, I have NO memory of this!

FD counteracted grumpy FM by setting his internal alarm for an hour before my alarm was to go off (he's one of those annoying types that can tell himself what time to wake up and then actually do it) and so commenced round one of "To Catch a Fleeing Egg." (Think "To Kill a Mockingbird")

Lunch today, tomorrow and Saturday isn't going to work out either - doesn't that just figure? The best time presents itself...and life is busy otherwise! So apparently, there'll be a lot of early morning activity going on in my house this week!

Bless his heart, FD is just determined to make this happen and NOW. He woke me up, reminded me to temp, reminded me to pee for the CBEFM, and then started to work his magic.

When did he become me?

I've got to tell you that my heart does ache for him. He just can't understand why this isn't happening...and since I can't either, there's not much I can say to help. So...we just hold out hope for another month, and see where that gets us!

I read a blog the other day of a gal who has decided that her New Year's resolution this year is to have a baby. She's fairly newly married and the time is right. Before TingTC, she's going out and reading every baby book available and planning it all out. Bless her heart, I just want to somehow tell her that no matter how much you plan, these things just happen outside of any possible timeframe you can concoct. But I just don't have it in me to dash her high spirits like that.

That's all I got on my end...hope all is well with all of you! Two days until the isn't that just some kind of limbo???



Wednesday, January 30, 2008

CD10, CBEFM High we are again. Welcome to this month's edition of HOW TO HAVE A BABY! (hahaha)

Got my first high this morning on the CD later than last month. FD and I decided we'd try the whole going home at lunch thing (I work days M-F, he works nights W-Sa) but that didn't work out today, so I have to wait until he gets home in the middle of the night...which would technically be tomorrow.

We intended to have a practice session last night...but were just too tired! *Snore*

So what are we going to do different this time baby aspirin. No mucinex. Going to start progesterone cream after ovulation is confirmed on FF again. And...that's it.

I'm going to *guess* that since my first high is one CD later than last month, and assuming that my LP stays the same length, I'm in for a 26 day cycle this time around. That would mean AF is due 2/16, or right after Valentine's Day. That'd be a nice present, wouldn't you say?

So here we GOAL for this cycle PingOAS until 2/14 or 12 DPO...whichever is later, if those two milestones happen not to coincide.

Here's to my 12th post-MC cycle!



Friday, January 25, 2008

What Are YOU Waiting to Do?

I'm curious to know what you other TTC women are waiting to do while you're out hunting for a sticky bean. It's so hard to plan sometimes, isn't it? Because, after all, you might have a new addition in 9 months...and then again, you might not. So what are you waiting to do?

Here's what I'm waiting to do:
  • Plan vacation time for 2008. I get three weeks this year...but if we end up with a baby on the way, I want to save it to use when I go on maternity leave, to have an extra three weeks off then, in addition to the 6-8 weeks post-delivery. But after another three months, when it becomes certain that even a preemie 2008 baby just ain't gonna happen, I'll use my time on other trips/for other reasons.
  • Decide to go back to school. Grad school, that is. I would like to begin pursuing my MSHRM, but...if I end up with a baby due during the fall term, why would I apply to begin then?
How about you?



Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Baby Watch '08 Update

Add another to the list: another old friend. This makes five. It's getting harder to smile.



Monday, January 21, 2008

I'm out. Dang it all.

Two clot-y things then a flow. I'm out. Officially my shortest cycle ever. EVER. Not kidding. In the entire time I've been old enough for this crap, I have never had such a short cycle. Ever. EVER.


14 DPO...still nothing

Here we are at 14 DPO...and nothing to show!

Didn't even test this morning - aren't you proud of me? After two days with two BFNs, I just didn't have it in me to do again.
  • Stopped spotting yesterday afternoon. Not a drop since.
  • Still have creamy/yellowish CM, but not as much as before.
  • CP still high. Feels firm, but not as firm as the beginning of a cycle, and is closed.
  • Temp went up this morning, but only by a few temps. It's a limbo temp - not high like right after O, not low like before O. Just...there.
  • Twingy cramping continues on lower left side.
  • Still plugged up tighter than a corked bottle of wine. Way annoying. How much can you eat before you just burst?!
  • BBs still a bit sore, but not overly so. Nips now VERY sore. Still feel bigger.

So...prehaps so, perhaps not. We'll see! Still have two days until AF should rear her ugly head, or perhaps even three, since my cycle fluctuates by a day sometimes. I'm going to try to hold out and not test again until Wednesday morning, 16 DPO - unless AF comes roaring into town by then.



Sunday, January 20, 2008

13 DPO and...nothing

I...tested again this morning. I shouldn't have. My temp dipped. Not as low as the dip at 9 DPO, but by almost a half degree versus yesterday. And I swore I'd only test today if my temp was AS HIGH as yesterday. But I woke up SWEATING! How could my temp have gone down?!

How funny is this: I actually stopped peeing, mid stream, to run and get a cup to pee in so I could use the Dollar Store PIAC test. Am I pathetic or what? Yeah, BFN. BF'n surprise.

The good news of the day is that I passed my PHR certification exam this morning/afternoon! 225 questions with 4 hours allowed - and I managed to somehow finish 90 minutes early. I was on super fast forward speed all morning. SUPER excited to have passed. The damn test costs $300 to take and you have to qualify with time-in-credit in HR positions, which was a bit like the inquisition, but I PASSED, so NYAH NYAH NYAH.

So...where am I at, IPS-wise?

Ok, last night, about two hours after dinner, I got EXTREMELY nauseous. That didn't pass until early this morning. My sense of smell was wacked. FD got home from work at 4:30 AM (he works 6 to 4) and crawled into bed and I instantly accused him of smelling like tuna fish. He hadn't had tuna fish. But I smelled it. And it was making my nausea worse. And then I heard dogs howling from like blocks away but it sounded like they were outside our bathroom window. I didn't sleep well last night. Like barely at all.

FD told me today that he was a little freaked by how heightened by senses were last night. Tell the truth, I was too.

Ok, back to symptoms. More spotting today...again, very light. Just shading, really. Not liking that much. More twisty turning tummy rumblings. Still have a lower back ache. Still stopped up like a corked bottle. Still creamy yellow-ish CM, although not nearly as much as the past week or so. And still peeing more than usual. BBs still sore, nips getting sore, but not AS sore as they were. Right one is catching up with left one - both are bigger than usual.

Current gut feeling is that the hag is playing with me. Just not feeling the hopeful vibe. We'll see.

I swear, I swear, I will ONLY test tomorrow IF my temp goes back up and is AS HIGH or HIGHER than 10-11-12 DPO. It's my last test. I'm tired of wasting them.

How are ya'll doing?

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Two Poems

I found myself sharing our TTC story with one of my BIL's best friends tonight. Through the drama that has enveloped his life at times, FD and I have spent a lot of time trading stories with her to keep everything straight and see where we could help. So although we've never met...she's a friend.

It turns out that she's had losses, as well, and a long discussion ensued.

During it, she gave me the link to two fabulous poems that I wanted to share with you all.

Before going to either link, grab a box of tissues. They're beautiful...but you WILL cry.

What Makes a Mother

A Different Child

Thanks, B.



I Broke Down...

...and tested.

Well, after I found a dollar store that actually DOES have HPTs.



I knew it would be...even if this is my month, it still feels too early...AF isn't due for another 4-5 days. Am I nuts?!

Had more spotting tonight. Didn't have to go excavating this came to me. First time I peed, there were bright red splotches. Second time, it was dull red mixed in with my CM again. Third time, nothing.

Have I mentioned that I'm peeing a lot?

Still trying to stay hopeful, but boy did I hate seeing yet another BFN.

On to tomorrow. I've decided that if my temp is at least as high tomorrow morning as this morning, I'll test again with FMU. And then if that's a BFN, I'll test again Monday.

I bought three tests - love that they're a dollar. Hate that I have to PIAC and then use a dropper. So tomorrow and Monday will finish off that supply.

And...if nothing on Monday...then I will wait until Thursday IF IT KILLS ME. Or maybe Wednesday. HA!

Hope ya'll are having a great weekend.



12 DPO...and more spotting

Well...I still have four days to go until when AF may show up but I have a bit more spotting this morning. I know, I know, there are various reasons for spotting. And in all honesty, I kind of had to go excavating to even spot the spotting. CM still creamy and yellow but the little bit of spotting I found is bright red instead of a dullish-red-brown like the other night. So who knows?

For some reason, I just don't feel as hopeful today as I did yesterday. BBs still sore but not as sore. No nausea. I've had a total systems change, too, with my potty issues - since I got sick now almost two weeks ago, I've had to stay close to the bathroom after each and every meal. Since mid-day yesterday, I'm totally blocked up. I told FD that it was like a boat where they throw the motors into full reverse.

My lower back is aching a bit more than usual, too. No cramping, although I had more of those strange twinges last night.

So I don't know...I'm certainly not the authority on how I "should" feel right now if I were to be pregnant, but I'm just not as hopeful. Argh. Have I mentioned that waiting sucks?

And yes, I did blow another CBEFM test stick this morning. Right line is again a bit darker than yesterday but not as dark as the left line. Still means nothing. I just had to pee on something! :-)

I told FD this morning that I'd had a good temperature - meaning that it hasn't dropped (yet). He asked me how soon we could test. I explained that although we could probably test now, since some tests claim to be accurate up to 5 days before you're due, it would be better to wait another few days to be even more accurate. Not sure he liked that response. I know that I don't either, but I don't want to go spending more money on HPTs that I just damn well know are going to be negative because it is still early.

Speaking of HPTs and their cost, I visited the Family Dollar store down the street last night...and definitely couldn't find any HPTs. I've tried that store and a couple other dollar stores in the past and I've NEVER seen HPTs there. But I always see people on the boards talk about their dollar store tests, so where you do guys find them??? I'm dying to know. Am I just not looking in the right places?

Anywho, off to make myself busy for the next few days...still hoping to hold out to test until Monday. :-)



Friday, January 18, 2008

11 DPO...Still Hopeful!

Good morning! LONG POST FOLLOWS!

I went to bed last night wildly un-hopeful and woke up this morning wildly hopeful. Ugh. I hate swings like that.

I had a *little* spotting last night. It was mixed with my CM, and so the combo of the yellowish CM and the reddish spotting made the most interesting shade. It was only mixed into just a little bit, but it was noticeable. And more. Had another ton of yellow CM this other shades mixed in. My CP seemed low last night, but then high again this morning. I had some dull cramps on my left side last night, but...nothing this morning.

Implantation spotting?? I'm hopeful! Last night I wasn't...I was sure I'd wake up this morning with the world's earliest AF. I usually spot a day before AF anyways, but I woke up this morning with NO feeling like AF was here - no dryness, no cramping, no bad attitude...hmm.

So of course I blew another CBEFM test stick this morning. SOMEONE TAKE THESE AWAY FROM ME. I have 19 left now and I swear I'LL PEE ON 'EM ALL! Left line is still as dark as it was...right line darker than yesterday but not dark, KWIM?

Let's see...still have sore BBs and I'd swear to God that they're bigger. I'm a small girl - and, in fact, I had breast surgery almost five years ago now to have lumps removed and since then am really, really small - they took out a whole bunch of tissue besides just the lumps, which took away a few cup sizes and made me lopsided by about half a cup. So for me to feel like there's a size change is quite weird.

But my bra was tight yesterday! It's usually tighter on one side than the other because of the lopsidedness anyways, but yesterday even more so.

But ok, I have to ask myself if this is "real" symptoms or if perhaps the progesterone cream is playing into this at all. I have to do some more reading up on that...but I have heard that some side affects can mimic early pregnancy signs, so I don't want to totally delude myself here.

I'm a little freaked by my temperatures and FF. I'm thinking I just ought to have thrown out the dang thermometer when I got my CBEFM. I mean, my early DPO temps are just wrong - I was sick as a dog for six straight days with some kind of flu or something (isn't it fun to pay docs and have them GUESS what it might be?) and so DPO3-5 are just plain guessed temps. The actual temps were 1 degree higher - high 99s - and I subtracted one degree for sickness to enter on my chart. Maybe I should have just disregarded those days entirely, or subtracted two degrees. I may play around with that today. The other thing that worries me about temping is that with outside temps swinging so wildly here in Texas over the past two weeks, I have alternately woken up in a house that was hot as hell and a house that should have be sprouting icicles...I try to set the heat before going to bed to take into account what the overnight temp is going to be (we have old, drafty windows, so leaving one temp set just doesn't do it...that's on the MUST REPLACE SOON list) but I'm wrong 50% of the time. And so I know that waking up in a room where the temp is overly hot or cold affects my BBT. So argh.

I'm trying to compare this to when I was pregnant a year ago, but I'm having a heck of a hard time. Last year, I wasn't charting, I really didn't know diddly squat about fertility signs or checking them, and for all things TTC, we were just winging it. In addition, in between when I must have conceived and when I actually found out I was pregnant, I was out of town for work, then I was back in town but FD was gone for work for ten days, we were only weeks away from closing on our house so I was working my freelancing job hardcore to make a few extra bucks to be able to afford some new furniture we wanted, and my full-time job was crazy as anything. So what I'm saying here is that I wasn't really paying attention to myself. Which is why I let minor spotting delude me into thinking it was a period and didn't even TEST until a week after AF was due that time around.

Hahahahahahaha. If you asked me to wait to test until a week after AF is due this coming week, I think I would shoot you. Boy, how times and perspectives change.

Speaking of changing perspectives, can I tell ya'll that I can't believe that I'm blogging about internal bodily functions, how my bra fits, and all sorts of things like that, that I would never dream of bringing up in conversation with my closest girlfriends? Give me a little anonymity and I guess I'll confess anything, eh?

But since I do plan to go ahead and share this blog out when/if I do have baby news to share, I'm wondering if I should go back and make strategic changes...but then I think, nah! All of my IRL friends who read my other blogs know me well enough that if they're put off by any of this...well...tough. :-) anyhow comparing this cycle to last springs pregnancy that ended in miscarriage. Ok...I do NOT remember my BBs feeling bigger last spring. That detail, I think I would have remembered. That time around, I only spotted right around when AF should have been due, not almost a week before. I really feel like my LP length has elongated, even as I've been charting. Don't know why - I haven't taken any meds other than baby aspirin, Mucinex and progesterone cream - but I really think it has.

As for my former tummy twinges, no idea if I had them last year. If I did, I probably would have written it off as nerves at the time, since there was so dang much going on at the time with preparing to become homeowners and moving and working my tail off and such. The CM is the thing that gives me pause for thought. You know, before I miscarried last spring and got so entrenched in studying everything and anything on the web and iVillage about TTC, I thought that all discharge was bad discharge and must be a sign of infection or illness or something. I really believed that! And to add to that, I don't ever remember having much in the way of CM, although I know I must have. But I DEFINITELY don't remember yellow-tinged CM - I think I probably would have been on the horn to the doctor had I seen that, asking to be tested for a yeast infection or something.

So I don't know. I do know that looking back on the cycles I've charted since September, the earliest I had spotting was on CD26. And for every cycle before this one, FF pinpointed my O at either CD 16, 17 or 18, based on temps. But this cycle the monitor and FF pinpointed at CD 12 and now spotting on CD 22. Hence my belief that there's been a shift. But who knows?

I need to shut up now, I think. I'm way overthinking this. I'm either pregnant right now or I'm not. And right now, there's not a damn thing I can do about it either way.

CD23. 11 DPO. AF due in about 5 days - my cycles vary by a day on almost a cyclical basis, so she could come either Wednesday or possibly Thursday.

I am going to ask FD to hide my CBEFM test sticks so I am not tempted over the weekend. I have a huge certification test for my profession on Sunday morning so I HAVE TO study all day tomorrow and don't need to be distracted by wanting to pee every five seconds on any stick wider than a toothpick.

I think that I'll go buy an actually HPT for myself on Sunday AFTER my cert test (wish me luck, please - it's for my PHR - Professional Human Resources) as a reward and then wait to use it on Monday. I figure that my chances of an accurate result should be pretty good at 14 DPO, even though AF is still a couple days away.

And if it's a BFN? Well, my back-up plan is to FORCE myself by whatever means necessary wait until Friday - the day after the latter day AF could be due and 18 DPO - before testing again, if she doesn't show.

Argh, argh, argh. This waiting crap sucks!!!!! :-)



Thursday, January 17, 2008

10 DPO...and Hopeful... I've cheated.

Kind of.


Sort of.

I decided to try out the CBEFM test sticks as an alternative to an HPT. And ya know what I got?

Yeah. Nada. Left line = really dark. Right line = almost nonexistent.

But ya know what? I'm still hopeful.


Well, looking at my post-sickness temps, it looks like I have a decent dip yesterday. Implantation? I hope! :-)

I continued to have TONS of CM - and all of it has been yellow-tinged for like four days now. Have I mentioned tons?

A little confused on the whole CP thing. It seems very high right now...compared to right after my O...but I haven't actually monitored it every day to see what's up. Bad me. But I really have to reach to touch it now...can't remember it being so high before.

Still have sore BBs. No more tummy flutters, though, whatever those odd twinges were. No cramps. Sore lower back, but it always is, so that's not a symptom! :-)

But I still have about a week before AF is there's still plenty o' time for me to either become WILDLY hopeful or just decide my chances this month are just as crappy as any other month. I guess we'll see, right?

So I've blown two CBEFM test sticks on my cheating - er - experiment, but I justified that in my mind by telling myself that you're supposed to use 10 per month and I only needed 8 prior. Right?

TRYING to hold out until Monday to POAS - a real stick, this time. That'll be 14 DPO. AF should arrive around Wednesday or so, if the hag is coming this month. So Monday's fair, right?

Right? :-)



Monday, January 14, 2008

7DPO - Strength Needed

Ok, so in my normally addled brain, testing at 7 or 8 DPO seems logical, despite the fact that THOSE TESTS ARE ALWAYS, ALWAYS NEGATIVE. Notwithstanding the fact that I haven't had a positive test in 10 months, it's still too early. Either way. I know this. I IGNORE THIS.

Argh. Ok, so here we go. No more nausea. Now I just have potty issues instead. Not the trade-off I was hoping for. BBs a little sore, but not overly so. Lots of creamy CM, and it was yellow-tinged today. And that's all, folks!

Oh, wait. How could I forget? Remember those little cramps/twinges on my lower right side? Yeah? They're gone. Now they're on the left side. I feel like I'm losing my mind, but they're definitely on the opposite side now. Really? WTH?

So now I'm headed to bed, 20 minutes into 7DPO, where I shall try to hypnotize myself out of wanting to test this week. I want to last until next Monday, dang it!!!



Saturday, January 12, 2008

Houston, We Have Vitamins!

Yahoo - picked up my new prescription of prenatals at the grocery store this morning. This was a HUGE ordeal. I got the total run-around from my old pharmacy AND my doctor's office - different crap like my brand had been discontinued, rebranded, renamed, re-whatevered.

So...after two months of NO PRENATALS (not good) I finally have them back. SAME BRAND AS BEFORE. SAME PACKAGING. Turns out the only issue was that CVS Pharmacies in north Texas no longer carry Duet DHAec.

Swapped to the grocery store near my house, they had 'em within a day. Hallelujah.



Friday, January 11, 2008

4DPO...Still Sick but New Symptoms

I'm still sick, dang it. Missed my second day of work today. My massive headache morphed into an ear-and-sinus show. Not fun. I hate being sick.

Second morning of elevated temperatures. And for what I've logged in FF, both yesterday and today, I took off a whole degree, since I've had a fever since I got sick. So really, I'm fudging. Hopefully tomorrow or the next day, my temps will go down and I'll get true readings.

New symptoms, though! My realistic voice tells me these are related to my progesterone cream. My hopeful voice says that perhaps, even at 4DPO, I can start feeling RPS!

Here we go: I've been nauseous since about 2 this afternoon. Not awful nausea, but definitely noticeable. Since about 7 this evening, my BBs have been pretty sore.

And WTH - I thought O pain was supposed to end after, well, you O! For the past few days, I have had consistent twinges in my lower right abdomen. Not cramps - although I had cramping in the same spot on my two peak days. But twinges. Noticeable. Not painful. But not something I recognize either.

Weirdness. Hope these next 7-10 days go VERY, VERY quickly!!!

How are all you pregnant ladies out there? Hanging in there?

How about you ladies in the same boat as I am? Keeping you hope up for this month? I hope so!!



Thursday, January 10, 2008

3DPO...and Sick

Dang it, dang it, dang it. I'm sick, so I don't know if my BBT this morning was due to that or to an actual steep climb. I suspect it's sickness-related, because it only went higher after that and has been hovering at 100 all day. DANG IT.

Other than that, happy to be at 3 DPO, and hoping the next week+ go very fast. I know, I know, I know that I will want to test as soon as 10 DPO rolls around, but I'm really going to try to hold out for when AF is due. Heck, with all the BFPs at TTCAM these days, I'm probably going to want to test at 8 DPO, where (quite) a few of you gals were when you got your HPT+. RESIST, RESIST.

So, if we achieve success this time around (positive me says that it's a new cycle and we're trying new things so let's go STICKY BEAN, while negative me says this is the 11th cycle post-miscarriage and month 20 overall, so why should anything be different. I'm actively trying to murder negative me.) then we'll hit the end of the 1T right around Easter.

And Easter will be VERY big in my house this year. My BIL is deployed to Iraq right now, and will be coming home - to our home, that is - for his mid-tour leave on Good Friday. And his kids, who his former wife took back to Canada upon their divorce, will be flying down the day prior to see their dad and all of the rest of us and stay for a week. In the midst of that, my MIL is ending her 5-month winter stay with us three days after Easter. So we'll have a FULL HOUSE for about 5 days and then some transitioning time after that, as first my MIL leaves, then the kiddos, then my BIL. We won't know what to do with an empty house! Hopefully, we'll have a BFP to announce by then and plans in gear to start filling the house back up!

We did decided that we'd feel secure enough at 12 weeks or the start of the 2T to announce any good news we might have. I know that there is still a chance of M/C after that, but Easter would just be such a great time to share this news...almost a year to the date of when we got our spring BFP last year...but hopefully without the same dreary end.

I've already planned it out in my mind - hope that doesn't turn out to be self-defeating. I figure that I'll tell my close, close girlfriends just a little before at a St. Patty's Day gathering I'm planning to attend (mind you, I've never shared any of this TTC stuggle with them...) and then fly up to my parent's house the weekend before Easter to share it with them, and then share it with a majority of DH's family over Easter weekend, and then fly out to my FIL's the weekend after to share it with that part of the family. Thank God I work for an airline, or this flying around business would be a bit tricky, eh?

So anyhow, started back on my progesterone cream yesterday and ended Mucinex the day before. Still taking a baby aspirin and my thyroid meds of course. Hoping to start feeling some RPS soon!!!!!

Hugs to you all!


Monday, January 7, 2008

PEAK a boo!

We got our first peak on Sunday! Yahoo! (Ok, I feel like it's still Sunday, but since it's after midnight, ok, we'll go for it technically being Monday.)

I really can't believe I got a peak day so soon, quite honestly. FF has been claiming that I O on CDs 16/17/18...and while I always felt that was wrong instinctually, despite my temps, I couldn't prove otherwise. But now, to have my first peak day on CD 11 and presumably my second peak day today on CD 12 (after I go to sleep and get back up in 5 hours, that is!) it looks like my gut feeling was right.

I went back and looked at my past cycles, and can't help but wonder if that's where we went wrong...concentrating on later days instead of earlier when we BD. Of course, we did BD several cycles on either CD 10, 11, 12, or 13, but who knows?! Looking back to our spring pregnancy, we would have had to have conceived on CD13...I was out of town CD10/11/12 and then DH was out of town starting on CD 14.

So here's hoping for a miracle this cycle. We're on a BD roll at this point (I've never had sex on so many consecutive days in my life!), and will keep it going another two days, until I'm out of town again. FINGERS CROSSED!

How are all of ya'll doing?



Sunday, January 6, 2008

Loving My Monitor!

Note: even though I mention TTCAM in my blog a lot, please do not feel as though you are unwelcome if you've come to visit my blog from somewhere other than the TTCAM iVillage group. Everyone is welcome, and I appreciate all of you for coming to stop by and offer your own thoughts. And if any of you would like to be added to my blog roll, simply let me know!

Can I just tell you that I am IN LOVE with my CBEFM? It's the greatest damn thing ever invented, and I'm so glad we bought it!

I'm not sure which was more exciting - starting to pee on sticks every morning (FD calls that practicing for the "real thing") or having our first "high" day on Friday! FD commented that he loves having a machine that tells him to have sex. Haha! He's cute - have I mentioned that? So yeah, we took advantage of both high days so far.

Random aside: having difficulties in this whole TTC process has actually improved my sex life. I've read about so many couples whose bedroom lives suffer as a result of issues, but for us, man, the past few months have been the greatest in our three year relationship. I know, I know, there are limits to what we should share on blogs, right? But this is just a good thing!

So I'm wondering when we'll have our peak days. My EWCM has started early again this month, just like last month. Not sure what the deal is there, but I'm all-too-willing to take advantage of it! Have been taking Mucinex (well, the generic Target form - much cheaper) daily since CD5 as well as one baby aspirin per day. Plus still taking my prescription meds for my Graves disease. (one thyroid, one blood pressure)

I am not on prenatal vitamins right now, which is frustrating to me. You ladies from TTCAM may remember my troubles with refilling - the kind I take was re-branded and that caused all kinds of issues in my pharmacist's head. So I haven't had them to take for a couple weeks now. I really need to go to my doctor's office to pick up new samples to decide if I want to switch or just get a new script for the retooled/rebranded vitamin, but that hasn't worked itself into my schedule yet, unfortunately. This has me somewhat panicked...I know that I need those nutrients for a healthy pregnancy. But on the other hand...when I was pregnant in the past, I wasn't on vitamins when I conceived...and still conceived. But on the other hand, I miscarried, so maybe not having those vitamins soon enough was a factor. But on the other hand, women conceive and carry babies successfully every single day without taking prenatals. So really, even if it's not 100% necessary, I really think it should be, if for nothing else than my mental health. I think I'll scurry on down to CVS tomorrow and buy some OTC vitamins to use in the meantime and work on getting those samples to make up my mind going forward. FD volunteered to pick them up if I couldn't (he works in the city where my doctor's office is...for me, it's a 20 mile drive from work/32 mile drive from home) and I think that's sweet. My concern is that the kind I was on was the only kind that didn't make me violently ill when I first tried the sample - the other six kinds that I diligently tried for a week a piece all made me want to die. So we'll see.

Hoping that it doesn't take the full 5 high days to get my peak days, as the CBEFM guide predicts. I'm out of town one of the peak days and just hate the thought of missing prime BD time. (I work for an airline and have a business meeting in San Jose - that involves getting to the airport at about 6 AM, flying west for three hours, moderating a three hour meeting, having two hours to waste on the ground, and then flying back east for three hours, and arriving back at my home airport around 9 PM. Sounds fun, eh?) So if I have 5 high days (starting on Friday), that'd make my two peak days Tuesday and Wednesday...and my trip is Wednesday. So we'll see, I guess. And yes, FD is already at work by the time I get home on Wednesday, so that's out. Darn our opposite schedules. I usually love it, but there's times when it really sucks.

Speaking of peak days, I always felt like FF was putting my O dates too late in the cycle. I know it goes by temp and all, but my EWCM has always come earlier than my dip/rise, and my rise hasn't always been a straight up kind of thing, so if I get my peak days on Tuesday and Wednesday, I will feel vindicated that my O date really is earlier in the cycle than CD 17 or CD 18. I was somewhat vindicated last month - FF said I O'd on CD 16. If my peaks are on Tuesday/Wednesday, I guess that'd again give me an O on CD 16, right? (Isn't your O date the day after your last peak?)

Anyhow, I'm rambling, so I'll say bye for now.



Friday, January 4, 2008

Baby Watch '08

Ok, so amongst our circle of friends, we're up to four babies on the way for 2008. The first is our realtor, the second a childhood friend, the third an ex-boyfriend's wife, and the fourth FD's coworker's wife. First and third are expecting number two, second and fourth are expecting number one. We can't help but be happy for them...but it makes it all the more bittersweet to have been trying for so long with nothing to show.

Ah, well. FD apparently didn't hear his coworker's wife's baby announcement at his birthday dinner, because when I mentioned it on our drive home, it hit him like a shock. He recovered nicely, however, and said, quite confidently, that he knew we wouldn't be that far behind.

I hope he's gifted with the second sight, because I want that to be true more than anything. I'm ready. We're ready. Now we just need a baby to be ready!

MANY, MANY congratulations to the handful of women at TTCAM who got their Christmas/New Year's miracle - I can't believe so many of you got your good news all at once, and it's just simply thrilling. Stick, beans, stick!