Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Looking like...

...I'm out. Cycle 8 post-MC is a bust. It's not been 100% confirmed yet but...

...BFN on this AM's test...
...Stabby cramps for two days...
...Faint pink streaks appearing as of an hour ago...
...Temps just not very high, although at least higher than the coverline...

This cycle is due to end tomorrow. Typically, the end comes mid- to late- morning. I know, I know, still a slight chance that this isn't over, but just ain't feeling it.

Bad trick, no treat.

On the trying to say something at least a bit positive side, when I was pregnant in the spring, I had light bleeding on the day before and day my period was due. Made me think I'd just had a very light cycle and so I never tested for pregnancy until things started really feeling weird (smells, nausea) a week later. This light light light (I really had to look for it) streaking could be that. Afterall, temp hasn't dropped yet.

But I'm really doubting it.

Time for a chat with hubby. This was only our 2nd of the 8 cycles of really, really trying...the other 6 were left to fate entirely and not charted at all. However, with two houseguests arriving for the winter (my dad's joined the list), and lots of stuff going on at work and just busy-ness in general, it may be time to take a break for a few months, eh?

Thanks for continuing to stop by and read, TTCAM ladies. Love to you all!



Monday, October 29, 2007

Aches and Pains and Cramps, OH MY!

Good (very early) morning, ladies!

One of the moderators on TTCAM, Jessica, posted a note tonight about a potential link between chiropractic treatment and fertility issues. I responded that I'd been treated by a chiropractor in the past (actually, two separate docs) to a great degree of success and was considering seeking treatment again and would be interested in that link myself.

The downside is that now I'm sitting thinking about my various aches and pains and cramps. Argh. I've been working on finishing a critique on a manuscript from my writing group, and although perched on my very comfy new loveseat, I'm having to adjust myself ever five minutes or so, because no position will give respite to my poor painful hips. This problem has grown to the point of the ridiculous. The docs tell me they can give me no meds for this if I'm trying to conceive, but dammit, I'm at the point of no longer being able to cope. They hurt when I stand longer than a few minutes. They hurt when I sit and am not constantly shifting what little weight I have. They hurt when I'm lying flat on my back in bed. Getting the point here?

My last chiropractor told me that he believes the root cause of my hip pain is that one of my legs is slightly longer than the other, causing my hips to tilt and thus pain. I wore a heel life for quite some time, but after I discontinued the chiropractic care that coincided with the practical correction, the pain was back immediately. I'm beginning to discount the entire theory, really...why would the pain continue when I'm sitting or lying? I don't stand for very much time out of any given is it possible for the pain to continue so?

My other aches are of the more manageable variety. My lower back, as always, is sore. I haven't escaped that pain fully in more than ten years. The chiropractors both in PA and TX helped with that, but never fully cured it. The cause? According to both docs, the curvature that was never found in time and corrected. The PA doc predicted that with vertebrate crunching against itself, I'd be nearly immobilized by age 40. I still recall that conversation from time to time and hope dearly that he was just trying to scare me into continuing treatments and that it will not actually become reality. The doc in TX wasn't nearly so harsh - he simply stated that even the most innocuous looking curves (mine really isn't very severe - simply was never caught and corrected when it shold have been) can cause pain. It's funny...if this pain went away, I would notice it more than if it continued. After more than 10 years, I'm quite used to it.

And then my cramping. Abdomen. Lower left side. Sporadic but has been sharp a few times. Feels a bit like your bladder might if it was very full and in need of relief. Not terribly painful, actually, but a sporadic cramp. Not sure what that's about. We'll hope for good reasons instead of bad.

My current insurance costs $30 per chiropractor visit. That's steep in my world, between trying to pay off debt and increase savings. But I'm again beginning to believe that it is worthwhile, if it can at least solve some of my aches and pains...and perhaps even help in the baby department as well!!

Something to ponder!



Friday, October 26, 2007

I had...

...a few drinks tonight, at a girls night out little shindig a few of us put together since its been nearly a year since our last girls night out. And now I'm wondering if I should feel guilty for that. Granted, if anything is a-brewing, it's still way too early to tell. And I drank in moderation - no getting drunk for me! But still...I don't want to do anything to mess myself up, kwim?

Going to bed...trying not to think about it. It's still 5 days until I can even think about testing. Argh.

Have a great weekend, ladies!



Every Month's Trap

Do any of you find yourself, every month, falling into the trap of analyzing every symptom - or non-symptom! - as a potential portent of pregnancy? Argh!

Last month, I had soreness and crampiness and general ickiness and I just knew that it meant I was pregnant. I just knew it.

And I was wrong.

This month is the opposite. I have no symptoms. My temp went back up a bit today and I'm having loads of creamy CM (literally, loads), but nothing else. By this time last month, I was nauseous, sore and just grumbly. This month? Nada.

And I'm still trying to read that as a sign.

I'm trying to look back to the spring, when I suspected nothing until days after AF hadn't arrived, and say, well, if I didn't know, that means I didn't have symptoms, right? Which means this could be the same, right? And I could be pregnant, right?

How frustrating.

I'm finding myself doubting FF again, as well. I mean, why would I have 3 EWCM and 1 watery CM day, all in a row, 2 days before I O'd? By then again, why would FF be wrong - they clearly marked when my temp went up, so they must be right, right?

If FF is wrong, I could potentially be 8 or 9 DPOs instead of 5...far enough along that this extra CM (have I mentioned that it's literally gobs? I can't ever remember seeing so much, just like earlier this month, I couldn't ever before remember seeing so much EWCM) could be a good sign and the extra boost in temp could be a good sign as well.

If FF is right, I'm 5 DPO and just being very, very silly. As usual. And since our LPs shouldn't be off by more than a day each way every month, I'm really being silly, because then it would mean that FF is wrong last month as well (I still say it was wrong by at least a day) and just who the heck knows what's up.

Really, I just need to STOP over-analyzing and wait for what will come. AF is due November 1st - if no AF on November 1st, we'll go ahead and test. Just in time for our campout for NASCAR weekend - yippee! That one test is the difference between drinking it up with my buddies or chilling out and being happy and mellow with just my hubby and our two friends who are attending with us. We'll see, I guess!

I'm off to over-analyze some more and - perhaps - get some dang work done!

Have a great weekend, ya'll!



Wednesday, October 24, 2007

The Two Week Wait

It's that fun time of month...the two week wait. My temps did not coincide with my EWCM, and so FF has pinpointed my ovulation date as CD 17 - also known as Sunday, the 21st. I'm going to agree with it this month instead of resetting it to CD 16 as I did last month. Because the CM and the BBT did not agree, I have no idea, at all, if we hit it right on this month or not...I'm just totally clueless. Hopeful, but clueless.

AF is due November 1st-ish. I am absolutely committed this month to not testing early. That's just an exercise in futility. No symptoms yet...last month, I had stomach issues and soreness throughout almost all of the TWW...we'll see what this month brings.

I had a work trip yesterday to DCA and back (7 hours of plane travel for an hour long meeting!) and was flipping through SkyMall on the way back for awhile. I actually let myself look at baby items! I saw this nifty neato car/airplane baby seat that transforms itself into a stroller. No, it doesn't hook into a base like some really is an all in one. I circled it to show to FD, and he loved it too. Then I found a video monitoring system...the next step up from audio monitoring. By remote control, you can change the scope of the video to monitor your child's every move - it moves 360 degrees! Circled that, too. I know that I'm way jumping the gun - being pregnant first and then surviving the first few weeks without another MC would be key before buying baby stuff! - but this is the first time I've even allowed myself to look since March, so I think it's a big step.

In other news, I took the FF feed off my seemed pointless. Didn't display anything other than my cycle day and random factoids. Why bother? I'm going to replace it with a direct link to my FF site.

Hope all is well with everyone!!



Wednesday, October 17, 2007

An Early O?

Ok, so my excitement from last month over charting hasn't waned...but...coming off the tails of a NASTY stomach virus/bug, I was loaded down with EWCM yesterday - 3 CDs earlier than last month. WTH?! Now, I'm not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, so we capitalized on the opportunity last evening, but a bit puzzling nonetheless.

On other things, I'm finding myself feeling calmer this month. I don't have the "HAVE TO HAVE A BABY RIGHT NOW" fire I had then. Not that I've flopped to the other direction - hardly - I'm just not as crazed as I was last month. Which is very nice! We've finished a ton of projects recently in the house and are gearing up for a ton more in the spring...and all of them will be beneficial once our family expands, which is nice. I actually found myself with the thought the other day that it might not be bad to have a baby later in 2008 than earlier so even more projects can get done...but then my other side came along and said "SHUT UP - BRING ON A BABY AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!" Hahaha! :-)

We'll just have to see, I guess! I'm just glad to be calmer and, on the whole, happier.

Three weeks today until MIL gets here for the winter - we're still trying to envision what all will change with her arrival, but we're hopeful that we'll be able to establish comfortable schedules and patterns to make everyone happy. She'll be here for (not that I'm counting) 20 weeks - that seems so long, but yet we all know that it moves so fast, doesn't it, ladies? If this were to be our month, I'd be at 25 weeks when she left...15 to go. Isn't that an odd thought to have? We'll just have to see...that's just all there is to it...and that's just what I keep trying to convince myself!

Alrighty, I'm off and back to work! Hope all is well! Thanks for coming back to read me! :-)



Friday, October 12, 2007

No Birthday Positive...On to October!

Hi, ya'll!

Yes, this post is overdue - so sorry! We spent all of last weekend, including Monday, working on home improvement projects around the house, getting it ready in time for my mother-in-law to arrive for her five-month winter stay.

AF was due, and arrived with an almost horrific vengeance, on Friday, the 5th. first month of charting and reeeeeallllly trying came up empty, but I've decided that I'm actually ok with that.

First, I really feel like I've gotten to know my own body better, and that will only help me in the future. This charting thing takes a bit of work, but now that I feel like I better understand it, I can more use it to my advantage. If any of you don't already chart, definitely head over to - it's awesome. And I will definitely be taking Kathy's suggestion to take the free charting e-course to learn even more.

Second, I really feel like FD and I have gotten our act together and gotten on the same page. Our relationship is still fabulous, but it's now even more so because we got that long talk in September about what we really want from/for our family out of the way and can now head into the future.

Third, thinking about a June baby arrival, I almost panicked. Why? I'd REALLY love to get a planned addition added to my house, perhaps beginning construction part way through next spring after my MIL leaves and our other assorted guests depart after Easter. And I'd REALLY love to have it completed before Future Baby (FB) gets here. Which might not be by June.

Fourth, I just took a really deep breath and a chill pill in the form of Smirnoff Ice. We'll get through this. We'll have a baby - someday. If we have (continued) problems, we'll find solutions. If it doesn't happen in '08, it'll happen in '09 or '10 or WHENEVER. My goal of two kids by 30 may not be a realistic one at this point, but I've started down the path of convincing myself that I'm not a failure if it doesn't happen. And hey...I still have three years left - it's possible. Who knows?!

Anyhow, thanks, ladies, for continuing to read my rambles and for providing such great support over at TTCAM. I love you all!