Monday, May 26, 2008

Pregnancy Trends That Piss Me Off

And when I say "trends", here, folks, I mean things that have happened repeatedly in my own pregnancy. These are the things that make me go "argh". Read on...

Trend #1: The Weight Trend
I am a skinny person by health (hyperthyroid), nature (eating sensible portions) and habit (I love me some sit-ups). I am currently at the heaviest weight I've ever experienced in my life - at only a smidge past 18 weeks! My formerly-toned stomach is now definitely rounded. It's for a GREAT cause and I wouldn't change this for the world. No, this isn't the annoying weight trend.

This is: the trend of people telling me that I should try to stay "at least" this weight because I "look better". Has our culture really become so accepting of overweight being "normal" that people would rather see me with a pooch than toned abs? Are we kidding here? I put thousands upon thousands of sit-ups into those abs, dammit, and they aren't gone for good. In fact, I've already identified my post-baby workout - the P90X. I figure that with a 90-day exercise plan, it'll only be a few weeks after I return to work that I'm back to my former size. (Obviously, I don't plan to start my exercise plan until like a month post-delivery.)

I don't think I'm unrealistic, insane or selfish to already have a plan in place to get back in shape. I think it's prudent and smart. But people apparently think I'm the former rather than the latter, and so apparently, I should just plan to not lose any weight and be comfortable to classify myself as overweight instead of healthy. Argh, number 1.

Trend #2: The Due Date Trend
What's the most common question you're asked if you're pregnant? When are you due? Fun question to answer, actually, now that we finally have a coming baby to look forward to. Being asked is not the annoying trend.

This is: the trend of everyone - and I mean people who don't even freaking know me - not just predicting but telling me that first pregnancies go long, as a rule, and not short. This trend is twofold: sometimes, it begins without cause, as a general prediction; sometimes, it comes in reaction to my own statement about inducing to have Bunny a week to two weeks early.

My statement, however, is not a prediction. It's a certainty. Medicine has most definitely advanced far enough that doctors don't screw around with women who have high blood pressure. And you don't have to be a doctor to know that even women without prior blood pressure issues can experience problems in latter pregnancy. But I love that random-ass people know oh-so-much-more than my doctors and instead love to tell me that I'm totally wrong in saying that we'll have a baby by mid-month and that Bunny might not come until Halloween. How awesome for them that they're more knowledgeable than well-paid and highly-educated professionals. Argh, number 2.

Trend #3: The Baby Decisions Trend
There's no question about it - there are a million decisions to make when you're having a child. But it's not making decisions that's the annoying trend.

This is: the trend of being second-guessed by people who have made different decisions. Ya know what, people? The very fact that there is a decision to be made is indicative of the fact that multiple options exist. If only one way was the right way, it wouldn't be called a decision!

Perhaps the decisions we've made regarding certain "baby things" are different than the current mainstream. But when it comes down to it, breastfeeding (yes), cloth diapers (yes), baby food (home made) and daycare (no) are our decisions, not yours. So while it's great to hear stories about varied experiences, it's absolutely, positively wrong to tell people that they've made the wrong decision just because it's not the same one you have also made. Argh, number 3.

Alrighty, folks...those are my three pet peeves for now. What are yours?

Hugs,

~FM~

4 comments:

A New Beginning said...

You summed me up in your first paragraph. I too have heard the "you look better with the extra weight", well you know what, I don't plan on keeping it. I am a triathlete, and I love running and biking! I can not wait to get back into it full speed. I still "run" now, but it is more of a jog with a waddle. I would like to know more about your post pregnancy workout plan when and if you have time to blog about it.

Karin said...

I am with you on these as well. I started out my pregnancy at my regular about 120 - 123 give or take the day. I had bad morning sickness so I went down to 115 (which sounded nice at the time) now at 20 weeks I am climbing, I am up to 125 and am scared of going and getting weighed. I dont want to know I am at my heaviest right now as well. And all the people telling me I look so good, on and on. That and I cant work out at all because I had 3 months of spotting for my first trimester...fun. Oh and for the #2 firsts dont always go longer, my SIL just had a baby in January, it was her first and she was a month early!

Duck said...

I've never been pregnant, but, after my ivf cycle I gained almost 20 pounds! Well 13 of those are gone, and i hate it when people tell me to stay that size (why so they can feel better about theirselves?). Sorry I'm with you, I like flat abs.. but, of course for the sake of infertility I'm taking it easy right now (maybe my uterus will grow if my body has nothing else to do?).

Nicole said...

Hey, I just want to say that I CAN RELATE! As soon as people find out that you are pregnant, think you might be pregnant, or assume that you have a baby bump, you're free game to friends, family, and the general public. It's like you suddenly have a huge sign on your head that says "Please, give me unwanted, unasked-for advice!" or "Tell me everything I never wanted to know about you and your lovd ones' pregnancy experiences". UGHHHH!

Im with you on the weight gain too. It's hard to step on the scale and continue to see those numbers go up! Of course it's for the best possible cause. But it doesn't mean that you automatically become fat and lazy as soon as you are "in a family way". I never gave up on my body just because I became a mother, and kudos to you for working hard and making plans to get your body back! There's no shame in that.

I had severe pre-eclampsia with my first pregnancy, and now I am scared to death that this baby will also be delivered early. I guess it's one of those wait-and-see things.

Only God knows what our futures hold.

Keep updating, I love hearing what's going on with you! :)