I recently posted on TTCAM that I'd decided to stop describing my TTC history as "1 confirmed and 2 suspected miscarriages" and instead own up to 3. If there was enough to make the Dr. suspect, that's enough to call it for what it is, wouldn't you say?
With that off my chest, I have to say that despite that witch AF showing up on Thursday, I feel so very much more hopeful for the future. This IS going to happen. At some point. And some how. Maybe it'll happen on its own. Maybe I'll go on more prescription meds. Maybe we'll have to look into some form of assistance - IVF or whatnot. And maybe the road will lead us to adoption instead. But I know, I know, I KNOW that we're going to become parents. We love kids too damn much to fail in that endeavor.
FD and I had a rather tearful discussion yesterday morning when we woke up...on his birthday no less. He expressed that he was afraid this was all his fault because we'd been pregnant before and so WTF was going wrong now after so damn many cycles of trying. I was trying to console him and so I resorted to the statistics: that on any given month, any given combination of a woman and a man only has a slip of a percentage of actually creating another human life.
That didn't work. He pointed out that among our friends and family, so many other people got pregnant without ever even giving it a second thought. That's true...and so I can't argue that. What I could point out, though, is that everyone is different.
He asked me when I was going to go back to the doctor and what we could do next to get this show on the road. I explained (ok, well, explained again) that the doctor wasn't going to do anything for us until either (a) we had at least 12 consecutive months of trying without conceiving or (b) another 2 or 3 confirmed miscarriages. He really fussed over that...said that we'd stopped using protection in May 2006, and surely that was long enough ago that to not have had success by now, the doctor should be doing something to help us. Unfortunately, as I pointed out, it doesn't work like that. :-(
FD then asked if I would consider trying a fertility monitor like he'd seen in the drugstore. I was shocked, quite honestly. As we're trying to cut costs and pay off debt and not add any expenses...preparing for when little ones do join our household, in other words...I didn't think he'd be interested in something so pricey. But he was totally serious...and after discussing it, that's the route we're going.
We went out, and after visiting SEVEN drugstores, we finally found a CBEFM as well as a box of test sticks. $250 later, and we have our new TTC plan.
Fortunately, it was CD 4, so we're early enough to start this cycle. We agreed that we'd do exactly as the directions say - we'll go this route religiously for six months, and if after six months we don't have a BFP, we'll go back to my doctor and ask for a full round-up of testing on both of us. At that point, we'll be at 1+ year of trying after our April '07 M/C, and in fact at 1+ year of trying after the three months the doc suggested we take off after the M/C before trying again. (Advice we took with a grain of salt, continuing to just not prevent and see what would happen.)
So here we go...here's what we're going to do:
CD 5-Ovulation - Mucinex, 400 mg, 1 x daily.
CD 5-AF - Baby Aspirin, 1 x daily.
Ovulation-AF - Progesterone cream daily.
Prescription meds as normal. (For my thyroid)
Six months. You can survive six months of anything, right? FD told me that he'd read in one place that it was better to BD every other day during "good" times and in another place to BD as often as you can. I told him that I thought we should just continue to do what we do...aim for the good times - now with the help of the CBEFM as well as my BBT - and not stress over the thought of too much/too little. We also agreed that I'd come home on my lunch break on whatever CBEFM tells us are peak days, since we might miss them otherwise because of our opposite work schedules.
So we're entering 2008 in a hopeful state. Ladies, let's make this a great year for all of us. Here's to LOTS of sticky BFPs in 2008!