Friday, March 13, 2009

Post Baby TTC Thoughts

Now that the baby is here, I've spent a lot of time reflecting back on my TTC journey. That definitely wasn't the most pleasant time in my life. From the insane highs on the months that I thought we might be successful, to the lowest of lows when we experienced a loss, it was a roller coaster all the way around. It's sometimes hard for me to wrap my head around all that happened and all of the effort that went into starting our family.

These days, I sometimes stare at the baby for hours on end. She's perfect, of course. And watching her grow and learn and really develop her personality is the absolute best part of life. We are so incredibly lucky to have our Bunny.

We've fielded the question, a lot, on when we'll have more children. It's a question that troubles me. I very much don't want our Bunny to be an only child. I grew up as an only child...and I thought it was awful. Still do, in fact. But I'm almost afraid to even start trying for another child. I have so many "what ifs." What if we have more losses? What if we have many, many more months of zero success, like before?

Don't get me wrong - we're not yet at the point of even trying. Bunny's only 5 months old - we want to enjoy the heck out of her for awhile longer before adding to our family. But, as you know, dear readers, my mind doesn't shut off easily, so I'm already spending time thinking about this.

Mamas who have been on the arduous TTC journey for multiple kids: how did you pep yourself up to start another trip on the TTC train? What was your experience like the 2nd (or 3rd, or 4th, or...) time around versus the first?

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