Pregnancy Trends That Piss Me Off

And when I say "trends", here, folks, I mean things that have happened repeatedly in my own pregnancy. These are the things that make me go "argh". Read on...

Trend #1: The Weight Trend
I am a skinny person by health (hyperthyroid), nature (eating sensible portions) and habit (I love me some sit-ups). I am currently at the heaviest weight I've ever experienced in my life - at only a smidge past 18 weeks! My formerly-toned stomach is now definitely rounded. It's for a GREAT cause and I wouldn't change this for the world. No, this isn't the annoying weight trend.

This is: the trend of people telling me that I should try to stay "at least" this weight because I "look better". Has our culture really become so accepting of overweight being "normal" that people would rather see me with a pooch than toned abs? Are we kidding here? I put thousands upon thousands of sit-ups into those abs, dammit, and they aren't gone for good. In fact, I've already identified my post-baby workout - the P90X. I figure that with a 90-day exercise plan, it'll only be a few weeks after I return to work that I'm back to my former size. (Obviously, I don't plan to start my exercise plan until like a month post-delivery.)

I don't think I'm unrealistic, insane or selfish to already have a plan in place to get back in shape. I think it's prudent and smart. But people apparently think I'm the former rather than the latter, and so apparently, I should just plan to not lose any weight and be comfortable to classify myself as overweight instead of healthy. Argh, number 1.

Trend #2: The Due Date Trend
What's the most common question you're asked if you're pregnant? When are you due? Fun question to answer, actually, now that we finally have a coming baby to look forward to. Being asked is not the annoying trend.

This is: the trend of everyone - and I mean people who don't even freaking know me - not just predicting but telling me that first pregnancies go long, as a rule, and not short. This trend is twofold: sometimes, it begins without cause, as a general prediction; sometimes, it comes in reaction to my own statement about inducing to have Bunny a week to two weeks early.

My statement, however, is not a prediction. It's a certainty. Medicine has most definitely advanced far enough that doctors don't screw around with women who have high blood pressure. And you don't have to be a doctor to know that even women without prior blood pressure issues can experience problems in latter pregnancy. But I love that random-ass people know oh-so-much-more than my doctors and instead love to tell me that I'm totally wrong in saying that we'll have a baby by mid-month and that Bunny might not come until Halloween. How awesome for them that they're more knowledgeable than well-paid and highly-educated professionals. Argh, number 2.

Trend #3: The Baby Decisions Trend
There's no question about it - there are a million decisions to make when you're having a child. But it's not making decisions that's the annoying trend.

This is: the trend of being second-guessed by people who have made different decisions. Ya know what, people? The very fact that there is a decision to be made is indicative of the fact that multiple options exist. If only one way was the right way, it wouldn't be called a decision!

Perhaps the decisions we've made regarding certain "baby things" are different than the current mainstream. But when it comes down to it, breastfeeding (yes), cloth diapers (yes), baby food (home made) and daycare (no) are our decisions, not yours. So while it's great to hear stories about varied experiences, it's absolutely, positively wrong to tell people that they've made the wrong decision just because it's not the same one you have also made. Argh, number 3.

Alrighty, folks...those are my three pet peeves for now. What are yours?

Hugs,

~FM~

Do we have a winner?

We've really been struggling with baby names - specifically, girls names. We have a boy's name picked out - that was actually fairly easy as we were both very attached to a particular name for tribute sake and the two names sounds great together.

But on the girls side - oy!

We have about a million combinations that we've been considering. And we liked them all. ARGH!

Eventually, we each found a name that we liked best, and so we began trying them out with potential middle names to see what would work better for a potential daughter.

Would you believe that us two sillies never thought to simply stick the two names together that we each liked? DOH!

We finally came to that idea last night - and with either name leading, the combination sounds good.

I can't believe it took us that long to figure it out.

So...I'm looking forward to sharing those names with you on Tuesday...and hopefully a big reveal on which set of names the baby will get based on gender, too! Please, Bunny, don't moon us - I really, really, really want to know what you are!!!

Love,

~FM~

Saga of the Missing Jeans

Kind of sounds like Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, eh?

So I'm seriously kind of freaking out...over jeans, no less! I cannot, cannot, cannot find my stretchy top jeans. Not in the laundry, not in my closet, not in the hubby's closet...where else could they be? And I have a dress-down day tomorrow at work...but none of my other jeans are even an option, since they won't even come over my hips these days.

ARGH!!!

So, everyone keep your fingers crossed that I can actually find my jeans when I get home tonight!!! Plus, I have my younger goddaughter's 2nd birthday Saturday at a park, and that definitely requires jeans, too. ACK!!

Hugs,

~FM~

Day 2: Maternity Clothes

Happy Tuesday!

I know, I know! I just wrote about maternity clothes yesterday - what more could I possibly have to say on the topic? (By the way, I'm feeling link-lovey today...see below!)

Well...it's day two of maternity clothes in my world, and I'm already realizing the limits of my wardrobe. I thought I was so smart when I bought one pair of dressier khaki pants and one pair of dressier black pants. (My work requires business dress - anything from dressy khaki to moderately-dressy suits are the norm.) Well, turns out I wasn't so smart.

I have 11 maternity shirts - 10 that I can wear to work and 1 that would be appropriate when we have jeans days one or two Fridays each month. Turns out that most of them coordinate far better with khakis than black slacks. Dang it!

So I'm going to head back to eBay to see if I can scoop up another pair of khakis. I have to admit that I'm a lot more nervous about buying pants from eBay than shirts. For shirts, there's a little more leeway in fit. For pants? Well, I'm 5'5", but I have the same inseam as my husband, who is 6'1"! In other words, all of my height is in my legs...so I sometimes have a difficult time with pants.

On second thought, I think I might take the suggestion of the blogger over at "A New Beginning", who left me this message yesterday:

"I am a first time reader and thought I would make you feel better. I started wearing maternity clothes at about 7 weeks. I gained weight in the stomach and thighs. The thighs have been the worst. I am on my 2nd and 3rd sets of maternity clothes. I have just outgrown everything it seems.

And yes, I buy used clothes. I have been going to Goodwill for a couple of months now looking for stuff. Clothes are just too expensive to wear for such a short time."

Thanks for coming to visit me, Nicole (yes, I found out your name by visiting your blog - I like your set up and have enjoyed reading your posts!) and I agree - clothes are too darn expensive for how long you actually get to wear them! Granted, I hope to have another child within a few years after Bunny gets here, but still, total wearing time is so limited! In any case, after years of donating my used clothes to the Goodwill, I think it's high time I paid a visit to find a few additional pairs of slacks!! (By the way, I'm ignoring the weight gain in my thighs...yes, I have it too, but even when I was "skinny", I've always carried most of my weight in my thighs, so I just don't look there. Haha!)

Kelly, over at "Just Breathe", is about as far along as I am - a day or two ahead as I recall, and she reminded me that she's been in maternity clothes for a few weeks now. Wow - this time just goes so fast! Kelly didn't want to shamelessly promote an article she wrote for Associated Content about buying maternity clothes, so I'll go ahead and shameless promote it for her - it has some great pointers! Save Money on Maternity Clothes: The Best Shops and Ideas.

I'm envious of K at "Our Box of Rain" - she's five weeks ahead of me and still not in maternity clothes full time! I'm going to have to check out that whole belly band idea is something I may need to check out, just because it'd give me the ability to wear some of my "pre-Bunny" clothes for awhile longer yet. Of course, I just finished clearing out my closet and lugging all of the non-fitting clothes upstairs, but hey, stairs are great exercise, right? :-)

K also had this great pointer:

"I've also heard good things about Kohls, and I need some shorts for the summer,so that's my next shopping trip."

Good call, K! Here in Texas, it hit 97 yesterday. And I thought I'd get through this summer without needing shorts. Silly me! I think a trip to Kohls may be in order - they generally do have cute stuff at decent prices. (I agree with you about Motherhood Maternity, K - I bought some of my maternity stuff there and they are definitely overpriced, but unfortunately, had more of what I was looking for that I could wear to work. I limited myself, though, before I hit eBay for the rest.)

So anyways, don't tell, but I'm wearing my khakis for the second day in a row...I pressed them this morning to take yesterday's wrinkles out and matched with a new top (super cute - an eBay purchase...shows off a bit of cleavage I never used to have!) and if anyone is really watching my wardrobe that closely that they notice my re-wear, well, they need to get a life!

Hope everyone has a great day! I'm in a fabulous mood, and I hope I can spread that to all of you!

Love,

~FM~

It's Time: Maternity Clothes!

Hi, everyone! :-)

Here's a cheerful Monday morning wave from me to all of you out there in cyber-land!

I crossed a huge threshhold this morning - I'm officially wearing maternity clothes!

I've had them for like 6 weeks now - about 11 shirts and 3 pairs of pants - but other than wearing the pants a few times with the stretch-y part rolled over so they'd stay up, and then wearing one of my nice shirts for my anniversary, THIS IS A FIRST! :-)

Reader response time:

For those of you who visit my site - annonymously or as active commenters - this is for you!

If you have had a baby in the past or if you are now currently expecting a child, how far along were you when you began wearing maternity clothes full-time?

Here's my story:

On Saturday, I reached 17 weeks gestation. To-date, I have gained 20 pounds in those 17 weeks. Really, since the first four are pre-HPT+, I have gained 20 pounds in 13 weeks. YE GODS!

On Saturday morning, when I was getting ready to go out to breakfast with Future Daddy, I couldn't find my preggo jeans. So I tried squeezing into my regular jeans. See, I've been playing the game recently of wearing "regular" pants and just using a button-extender (read: hair tie!) or just plain leaving them unbuttoned and covering with a large top.

Well..."not no more"! Apparently, these 20 pounds that I've gained haven't gone *just* to my tummy. They've also paid strategic visits to my hips and butt!

I tried on 4 pairs of jeans on Saturday morning. All 4 fit just a couple weeks ago, even if they were a bit tight by then. But on Saturday, I could only get ONE of those pairs to even come up over my hips! And that was with FD helping me tug! And so I wore my "regular" jeans as low-riders and made due.

Incidentally, my preggo jeans are still missing. I don't know how that is possible; all laundry in my house is clean, and I totally cleaned out my closet this weekend. Apparently, the gremlins have stolen my preggo jeans. Depressing!

For work, I have two pairs of preggo pants - khaki and black. In addition, I have a pair of pants 4 sizes larger than normal that are working for me right now. I think I need more pants! I have 11 tops, so that ought to be enough to hold me over, but 2 or 3 pairs of pants (and a black skirt with an elastic waist) is not enough to hold me through the summer, I'm thinking!

I also need to start thinking about dresses. I can make due with the elastic-waist skirt or my preggo pants for church, but my oldest friend in the world is getting married in mid-August and I definitely need a dress for that event! I think that's the only one, though. Another friend is getting married the first week of October, but as that's only 3 weeks before my due date and the wedding is in upstate Washington (and I'm in north central Texas), that trip just ain't gonna happen! Potentially, I need a dress for my baby shower, too, which is already set for July 26th. It's a bit early - really shouldn't be until month 7 and that's the end of month 6 - but I have family in town then who really want to attend the shower, so my friends are going to hold it a bit early.

So far, I've gotten away with spending "only" $250 on maternity clothes. Not bad for 1 bra, 11 shirts and 3 pairs of pants, eh? Of course, 5 of the shirts I bought second-hand from eBay but they look like new, so I'm thrilled with my find! Anyone else by "used" maternity clothes? If not, check eBay - great deals and fashions! Both of my sellers were awesome!

Now it's your turn - if you have had a baby in the past or are currently expecting, share your thoughts on maternity clothes in my comments!!

Love,

~FM~

Blog Changes Coming!

Hi, everyone!

I just wanted to keep you posted on changes that I'll be making to the blog over the next few days. If you have any thoughts/opinions/ideas based on what I'm planning to do, please leave me a comment - I take your opinions very seriously!

What's coming...

• A blog design overhaul. It's getting a little boring around here, wouldn't you say? I'm actively looking for a new design that'll fit the ideas I have in my head, and if I don't find a pre-made template that I like, I may give a shot to designing my own template. I have some self-taught HTML/Java/CSS knowledge (albeit most of it a bit rusty) and so I may even look for an open source template that I can tweak. Some design changes I'm looking to make:
  
• Going from 2 columns to three. The third column would be exclusively for any advertising I put up. I hate that for people to have to see all of my sidebar non-ad content, they have to scroll through ads. I especially hate that my blog roll is so far down, when I think it's so important to display all of you other women more prominently. I considered taking the ads down altogether, but I'm not going to. First, some (although unfortunately not all) of the displayed ads contain relevant information for you, my readers. Second, although I make just pennies off ad images and click-thrus, those pennies are getting to be important. Have you seen what this economy is doing to the cost of gas and food? Now - I am not, not, not asking you guys to visit any of these ads or soliciting for you to buy something you otherwise would not. But for people who may be interested in the ads displayed, I'm going to keep them on my site.
• Changing up my header. I happen to like my header, but it could use some work. Namely, although I still want to make damn sure to welcome all TTCAM ladies to my site because you women represent any sanity I've kept since last spring, I want to make sure I'm not leaving any other potential readers out or making them feel unwelcome. My stats are showing that more and more people are coming to my site either by way of one of the blogs on my blog roll or from a search engine, and so I want to make sure that anyone who gets here feels welcome and stays and comes back for future visits.
• Changing up my content. This started as a very personal blog almost a year ago where I wrote mostly because if I didn't get some of my thoughts out post-miscarriage, I would have lost my mind. I shared it first with the ladies of TTCAM and later with the wider range of women I began meeting who shared my struggles with pregnancy loss and the fact that not every lady gets pregnant on the first try - or third, or sixth or tenth. Now, like I said above, my traffic is picking up significantly. (Keep in mind that the stats displayed are only "unique" page views, which I have locked down to only count an IP address once per 24-hour span of time - most sites count every pageload. If I counted every page load, I'd have 10k visitors logged to date - with 90% of those visitors coming in just the last couple months versus the 10 months this blog has been up. Nevertheless, I feel it is more responsible to only display unique loads.) The keywords shown for how people find my blog through search engines tells me that people aren't just looking for my unique story and personal life history - they're looking for relevant information for their only struggles with pregnancy loss and the agonizing battle that TTC can become. So anyhow, I'm a web content writer with several hundred of ghostwritten pieces produced in the past two years. Why am I not producing my own content on my own site? Well, now I'm going to start. It won't be daily, and it won't take the place of my letters to bunny or stories to share on my life. But I will be adding more posts that have objective information that might just help or perhaps bring comfort to women who are seeking the magical answer for "how to have a baby" - just as I was nearly a year ago when I started this site. If you have any requests for topics you'd like to see me write on, please leave those in my comments.
• What's with the anonymity? I guess it has puzzled some people since I started writing here last July as to why I write as "Future Mommy" instead of under my "real" name. In fact, I write several blogs under my "real name", and the visitors to those blogs have no idea that this one exists! I've always kept my "female issues" apart from the rest of my life. Most people never knew I was pregnant before Bunny or all that's gone on in the past couple years of my life on the TTC end of things. I think that using anonymity on this site has given me courage to express thoughts I might not otherwise feel comfortable express. And once we found out about Bunny back in February, I was deathly afraid that I would somehow jinx myself if I told anyone I knew "in real life" too soon. Afterall, back in '07, I ended up losing that pregnancy almost as soon as we started telling people about it. That left me spooked beyond spooked and it's taken me quite awhile to get over that. But here's my final move to get beyond that superstition and really start celebrating this coming life with everyone - I have an announcement post planned for my "main" blog for early next week, as well as for Facebook and MySpace. (To date, I still have many friends who I've not had the courage to tell about this pregnancy - that whole jinxing thing.) Once those announcement posts are up, I'll be linking this blog back to my "main" blog (which links to the other blog I run as well) and "outing" myself. And I want the faithful readers that have visited me over the past year to know that without your near constant support, I'd never be in a position to really throw open the curtain now.
• Oh yeah, labels. I have never used a label on this blog. Why? I don't know. I use labels like a fiend on my other blogs. (Which, incidentally, two of my other blogs are undergoing major transformations currently as well. Namely that they're being combined back into one blog because the spinoff smaller blog just attracts no traffic and its silly to keep it separate. Plus, my "main" blog is so blah that even though it gets decent traffic, it needs to be beautified to keep drawing readers in.) But now that I intend to start providing non-personal relevant content on this blog, I think labels are in order. I have something like 80 posts here so I'll be working over the next few days to add labels to them.
  

So have I overwhelmed you with information yet? What are your thoughts? Suggestions? Hate it? Love it?

In case you're wondering, here are some of the keywords that have added 500+ pageviews to my blog over the past week:

• 12 DPO symptoms
• CBEFM
• 13 DPO BFN
• CBEFM test stick results
• 7 DPO yellow CM
• CBEFM peak days
• Twinges in abdomen second trimester
• www.howtohaveababy.com <--interesting that they landed here
• ...and about a zillion other keywords. And that's just in the last week!

By and large, most of those folks come from Google, although there's also a few from Yahoo. One even came from Google Images, doing a search for 1st sono images!

Other interesting factoids about my readers. First, a majority come from the US, although Canada and Great Britain are tied for second place. Between the US and CD, Massachusetts is the home to the most amount of visitors, with British Columbia in second place.

Ok, let me know your thoughts, and in the meantime, I'll be busily working to make this site better! :-)

Hugs,

~FM~

16w5d - Plugging Along!

Dear Bunny,

How are you, little one? I keep expecting to start feeling you moving around any day now! Unfortunately, all I'm feeling is my meals coming back up on me! Now, your father talked to you about that. You need to let Mommy stop feeling so nauseous and stop losing so many meals. And if we're going to lose meals, could we perhaps choose to lose more of the spaghettio types of meals instead of the fancy-expensive-steakhouse meals? Please? Thanks.

So we're 16 weeks in...16 pounds gained. I'll have to post pictures of the tummy soon! I haven't taken measurements recently, either - I'll have to do that and let you know. Needless to say, with 16 pounds gained on what was previously a very small frame, I've already outgrown everything I own, pretty much! But I'm not yet big enough for my maternity clothes, so I'm kind of in limbo these days...

I'm a little concerned on my resting heart rate, since I stopped taking my beta blockers at my doctor's recommendation. It's at like 110 resting. I know it gets faster when you're pregnant, but I'm hoping this isn't too fast. I think I'll bring it up at my "big" ultrasound on May 27th, since it's being done at the perinatal office.

That's all from my end for now, dear readers and Bunny. Love and hugs to you all!

~FM~

15w6d - I'm still here!

Dear Readers and Fellow TTCers,

I am so sorry that it's been six weeks since my last post about Bunny! I can only tell you that in that time, I've been busier than a one-legged marathon runner, and crazier than a chicken with its head cut off!

Let's see...what's the best way I can give a recap of the past six weeks, non-Bunny-centered?

Ok...

• I've been to California, San Antonio, Minneapolis and St. Louis in that time, all for work.
• I've lugged 1800 pounds of hardwood into my house to refinish the floors of the three upstairs bedrooms. (Our bedroom is downstairs and already has hardwood.)
• I've had my office at work recarpeted, which lead to a very interesting time in deconstructing and reconstructing.
• I've helped deliver training classes to new internal consultants so they can begin working in the program I oversee at work.
• I've joined Toastmasters - we all know I love to talk...I may as well join an organization that provides me a means to get credit for my gift of gab!
• I've made significant progress on a large project at work after being mired in the mud for months - yahoo!
• I've had a performance review (went well) and a raise (measley but my company is a broke-ass airline, so it's better than nothing).
• I've been to an off-site gathering with my team that helped clarify all of our roles and objectives - very good experience.
• I served as Team Captain for my team's Relay for Life event - and it was awesome!
• I've judged 3 speech and debate tournaments, the last of the school year.
• I've totally re-weeded my garden!
• I've celebrated my 2nd wedding anniversary!

On the Bunny-front, here's what I've been up to since March 28th:

• I've totally emptied my former office, which will become the nursery. My library, which will now co-function as an office, looks like books and paperwork have puked on it.
• My nausea has gotten worse - despite the fact that everyone tells me that it improves after week 12, mine got worse during week 12 - that's, in fact, when I started puking! Yuck!
• I feel crappy almost every time I eat - sore tummy, headache, etc.
• I've heard Bunny's heartbeat twice! 140 BPM both times. Yay for Bunny!
• I've gained 16 pounds since I learned I was pregnant in February - wow!
• I've outgrown all of my pants and most of my skirts...but I'm still too small for even the smallest-sized maternity pants, so I either make do with the preggo-pants and just roll them over to keep them up...or wear a lot of my summery-dresses that are flow-y enough to accomodate my new tummy.
• I've been taken off my beta-blocker meds but had my thyroid med dosage increased. One step forward...two steps back.
• We've finalized our pick for a boy's name and narrowed the list for a girl's name. Getting there!
• We've made our appointment for the BIG REVEAL sonogram - it will be on May 27th! I can't wait to see if I'm having a little boy or a little girl!!

That just about catches us up to today! I promise, ladies, I will be much better about posting regularly again in the future! Time just totally got away from me for a few weeks there!!!

Also, I'm going to reveal the news of Bunny on my "main" blog soon...it's about time to out myself, now that most of my coworkers, most of my friends and most of my family knows. Reaching 16 weeks tomorrow leaves me feeling confident enough to share my news with my cyber-friends as well!

I'll be around to visit ya'lls blogs ASAP and leave comments...I've been keeping up with all of you through Google Reader, but now it's time to hop back into interacting!!

Thanks for continuing to keep me and Bunny in your prayers!

Hugs,

~FM~